Multi-tasking Papa

Zander as Smurf

Zander as Smurf

The Papa Speaks

Alex's notes on week one of Fatherhood are here

*

A List of Motherhood So Far

The whole 'you'll never sleep again' thing isn't as bad as I thought. Who knows how I'll feel about that next week.
I have no idea how single mothers manage raising children solo. Alex is a super dad and I could never do this without him.
Umbilical cord stumps are not for eating. When you get up in the night to eat some walnuts with your baby slung over your shoulder and then return to bed and find what you think is a left-over walnut in his blankey, be sure it's a nut before putting it in your mouth.
I've been reading the same article from the NewYorker for 5 days straight. Each time I get to read it I have to stop on the same column--I give up.
I've started watching the same episode of HBO's "The Wire" 3 times and have not yet actually watched it.
I did knit an entire 3 rows on a baby blanket that will be for Zander's first child at the rate I'm going.

All that said, I don't care because I've got the cutest boy EVA!!!!!!

Zander Sleeps

Alex & Zander

Alexander The Great

Alexander (Zander) Foli Todd Mallet heeded the eviction notice I posted on the 15th and made his appearance on August 16th at 9:41 am, after 13 hours of labor. He's a big boy, weighing in at a hefty 9 pounds 2 ounces. Man, childbirth is hard!!!! More on the details later.

Eviction Notice

Here is a picture.
See the picture.
It's not me, it's Lindsay, but it describes things quite well.
My Tenant's Eviction/Induction Date Has Been Set: Monday, Aug. 21

Dear Tenant,

Please vacate the premises sooner so we don't have to force you out :)

Love,
Your Landlord, Host Organism, and Mom

Butterfly

Disclaimer: No butterfly was harmed in this shoot--it was already dead.

Macro Mooshi & Yes, I'm Still Pregnant

Older & More Creative

Gerber

Yesterday, I received a most excellent bday present from Alex--the Lensbabie 2.0 and Macro lenses. When we got home from Body Worlds, showing at the Museum of Science, I dinked around with the macro lenses. These here blossoms are the result.

The Lensbaby is not a 'traditional' lens by any means. It's more of an artistic, creative sort of photo toy. The effects end up looking like photos shot with a Holga. I haven't quite mastered it yet but am having fun attempting to.

Anyway, it was a swell day to turn 33.

Unfolding Gerber

Nastrutium

Dalia

The Rescuers

Stefanie

Yesterday was a big big day for me--I left the house, used 'my words' on someone other than Alex, and shot some photos at Forest Hills. Big ups to Stefanie (photog extrodinaire-check out her site) and her kiddies for rescuing me from confinement.

Madison

Garrett

The Natural Law of Public Transportion in Extreme Conditions

I fancy myself a person of reason but must admit that I'm becoming more and more superstitious with age. I'm convinced the universe is plotting against me which is why I am a firm believer in the Natural Law of Opposites. Nevertheless, this latest curse of Mother Nature is just unfair.

To escape the heat I could go to the pool at MIT or some other 'cooling center' but the problem and reason I don't is a subsection of the Natural Law of Opposites, it's called the Natural Law of Public Transportation in Extreme Conditions.

The Natural Law of Public Transportation in Extreme Conditions works like this. Take a scorching or freezing day, or just any day where you are in a hurry, running late or maybe sick and have to rely on public transportation.

You go to the bus stop expecting a 5-minute wait, the norm, but end up waiting and waiting leaving you to wonder if the MBTA has cancelled the route in the direction you're going. It will become clear that the same route going the opposite direction has not been cancelled because during your excruciatingly hot 30 minute wait caravans of busses going the opposite direction, 3 deep, running every 5 or so minutes and almost completely empty will pass and taunt you.

The above scenario happens every time I brave the bus and it doesn't matter which direction of the route I'm waiting for--I will wait and wait and wait and count the number of busses going the opposite direction. I'll end up having conversations with the transients who occupy the benches and like all conversations with strangers these days, the talk will be baby, which is mildly pleasant.

The Devil and The Clown

My nephew, Dashiell (aka 'The Devil') just turned 21 and this is what he's getting from me--a print of him and his sister Greer on Halloween, 1987.

Photographic Proof That We Exist

Exhibit A

Photos of the two of us together (or shall I say 3 of us?) are rare. Probably because one of us is always behind the camera.

Exhibit B

Slumbering Sandeep in the Co-Sleeper

Baby Paws

Flared

Another film ditty from the archives. This one was taken in the Washington Park Arboretum in Seattle a few years back.

The traditionalists and purists say photographic lens flare is a no no, but judging from the plentitude of pro work out there with lens' a flaring I'm going to have to say its 'the thing.' based on the pro work out there flaring for effect. The above version was an error but this one from Forest Hills was not--I planned it and consequently my agency picked it up.
My Rule: Always Break The Rules :)

Plastination & You

Finally! Finally I say! Body Worlds is coming to Boston!

Von Hagens and his corpses have been creating controversy where ever they land, which surprises me because his people are the best looking dead people you'll see anywhere. Check out the Body Worlds site and if you're looking for a good read, check out 'Stiff' by Mary Roach, which features a section on von Hagens that's both informative and a crack-up, which is a good description for the entire book.

Getting Sushi's ashes this week reconfirmed my desire for an 'alternative' post-mortem process--a once 11 lb cat is now 1 cup of gravel. I want something more, something fabulous for my body when I'm gone and I'm in luck.

It turns out that von Hagens is accepting body donors--yes, I'm very healthy and don't plan to die anytime soon, but when I do, I hope I can be plastinated by von Hagens. If you want to be my friend in the end, maybe you'd like to join me at von Hagens Institute for Plastination.

Body Donation forms here.

Somewhere in Tunisia, 10 years ago

Long ago, in another life, I went to Tunisia on vacation. Here's a shot from somewhere in the Sahara which I scanned and converted to black and white. I quite like it.

Waiting & Other Bits

I'll technically be 'full-term' on Monday which means the little man could arrive at any point, although his ETA isn't until the 14th of August. I'm waiting to unplug the above phone because of punch-drunk-baby-induced-fatigue.

There's a theory that first timers are more likely to be overdue which is why I'm invoking the spirit responsible for The Natural Law of Wishes, wishes that don't come true.

The law: If you wish for something it's very very unlikely it will come true.

My wish: To be really overdue, 14 days in fact.

Now, since I'm far from lucky and The Great Spirit of Wishes will surely not grant me my 'supposed' wish, I'm hoping I've bypassed this law of nature. On the other hand, if my superstitious ways prove to be true, I probably just ruined it for myself by confessing that I'm trying to outwit 'the system.'

Other bits:
I submitted another lot of photos to my agency for potential sale--54 in total--we'll see which, if any, of them they want. It's sort of my last photography hurrah for a while since I doubt I'll have much time to do such things in the near future.

The weather is now fabulous--in the 70s and tolerable.

We picked up Sushi's ashes at the MSPCA today and well, there's not much left of him, about a cup of gravel really. I was dreading doing this and of course it created another breakdown but at least it's done. Something very weird: The various colored chunks of him--there's one pebble that's a robin's egg color.

The baby room is done, painted, set up and clean. I went against Dr. Nosey of Yumont Hardware's advice and exposed myself to paint. I'll post photos someday soon.

Bags for the hospital are almost packed.

*Badeee badeee, that's all folks!

Bainbridge to Seattle Ferry

See these people? These people are comfortable. It's about 70-75 degrees and they are not sweating like pigs. Oh how I wish I was there........

Rhubarb

Nothing much to report so have this pretty picture I took a year ago.
I'm officially on pregnancy 'confinement' as my mother terms it. What's pregnancy confinement? Think house arrest and what's arresting you is heat and discomfort. Only 32 days left before the little man is due to arrive.

She's On The Job!

KiKi, Retail SuperHero has made contact with the Nordstroms and all is well. Read about her selfless and amazing retail adventure which is making our material world a better place!

Galaxy In My Glass

Three Years Ago Today

July 5, 2003

Baby Knats

JP: The Center for Prenatal Advice and Predictions

Macho seems to be the consensus from the baby bump experts. Saturday, at the hardware store, while waiting for Alex I sat down to give my bear paw feet a rest. A very friendly woman from the Dominican Republic decided to join me, grope me, and give me her opinion on what I'm having. Her opinion: "Que macho!" Bingo, but she could have just asked me.

Although the above baby oracle is clearly knowledgeable about boy vs. girl bumps her declaration required groping whereas the man in a wheelchair, going top speed down Centre Street, who passed and yelled "You're having a boy!" Needed no hands-on time to make his judgment—he wins the blue ribbon.

The same hardware store with the groping lady also has a full time Dr.--call him Dr. Nosey. If you posses no medical care and need a quick consultation look no further than Yumont Hardware. Although I do have medical care I was totally oblivious to the dangers of paint. Did you know paint will melt your baby's brain? The hardware store doctor has personal experience with all sorts of brain damage-- "When my mother was pregnant with me she drank and now I have OCD." I wanted to add to his list of issues but wimped out and couldn't tell him to shut his trap and give me my paint so I could go home and guzzle some whiskey and bask in paint fumes.

33 weeks

Yeah Ghana!

Who's the most unpatriotic American you'll probably ever meet? Me, yes me. Sorry if you're offended but I have 2 reasons to be super duper happy that Ghana beat the US.

1. Alex, the dear, is from Ghana. Alex's parents still live in Accra.

2. Who doesn't love a triumphant underdog?

RIP Sushi

Sushi Mallet Loved Boxes

Achhhh. My heart. It hurts oh so badly. Our dear cat Sushi had to be put to sleep yesterday. Here's a link to Alex's ever so sweet tribute and another photo of Sushi.

http://alexmallet.blogspot.com/2006/06/sushi-mallet-111998-6182006.html

Bare Foot is to Pregnant as Leather is to Rock Star

I now understand why pregnant women and bare feet go together like rock stars and leather. Here's the scoop: When your appearance prompts people to say "Wow you look like you're going to pop!" chances are you feel that way and have limited range of motion as a result.

Case in Point: I made a trek to Macy’s today (I usually avoid department stores but to date I require a Neapolitan shopping experience: water fountains, bathrooms, and A/C all in one) to get some comfy walking sandals and a piece of clothing that has long been extinct in my wardrobe, shorts. It's just so freaking hot, humid, hazy and hellish that I've decided baring my pillars and shoes for comfort are necessities.

Anyway back to the shoes. I ask the Macy’s shoe man to bring me the shoes I have in hand, which he promptly dumps on the floor in front of me and high-tails it. I thought he was going to get himself a little shoe salesperson stool but that was not the case. He decided to stand around and gab with the other sales people while I grunted my way to the floor to pick up the shoes before me. Out of the box they came but that’s about as far as they got—I can’t reach my feet anymore, so I just sat there until he came back. To his credit, he did eventually put my shoes on for me, but very grudgingly. It was an all-around embarrassing experience, for both of us.

Today's Lesson: Don't do self-service shoe shopping when transporting another human.

Popsicle Woes

New and Improved FDA Recommendations

What food deserves its own group and a large portion of the FDA food pyramid, or whatever the hell shape it is now? Popsicles. Yes, Popsicles.

I want popsicles, and damn the NE and its obsession with ice cream, I can't find one anywhere. Well, that's not totally true, I have found 2 varieties but neither are suitable for my pregnancy-induced lust for frozen calories on a stick.

The First: A Lifesaver Pop, which is a frozen toxic concoction of corn syrupy dregs from the bottom of the juice cask in colors resembling crayons. If partially hydrogenated oils were appropriate popsicle ingredients you can bet these would be chalked full of em.

The Second: A Tragic Joes Pop. Don't get me wrong, I love TJ's but they've got the popsicle thing all wrong. Alex, the dear, brought me home the lime version-- they're sitting in our freezer gathering a protective ice glaze. Way too sweet with a hint of 'if-I-were-to-melt-I'd-be-in-a big-ol-glass-with-Tequila-and-salt' just aint working for me—oh what I would do to have the melted version…..

Today’s mission: take the bus to a super duper grocery store and find some damn popsicles

restored

Me and the shrimps (aka my mom and sister)

Industrial

Hi-Rises

Smile from Seattle

List of the Latest

3 weeks left at the Institute for Extraterrestrial Humans, which is great because commuting is becoming laborious and working here seems to be getting more dangerous by the day. First, walking to and from the T, switching trains, walking across campus, all in the heat and humidity, is far from fun, especially when you have chub rub (yes, my inner thighs have recently become acquainted). Second, the scary-lady-with-the-way-too-calm-voice-alarm and the air raid horn that sounds after she kindly asks you to 'exit the building immediately' is a big frightening. There's a lab a couple of doors down that keeps having toxic gas leaks--yesterday was the second time in a month the alarm sounded. Things seem to have gotten more serious; this morning there is yellow 'Police Line Do Not Cross' tape across all the lab doors.

13 images new of mine are about to loaded onto AGE's site, adding to the 10 images I already have with them.

The 'childbirth' classes start next week and I'm far from gung-ho given I'm not much of a 'group' learner and right now the whole 'let's-all-bond-even-though-we-are-complete-strangers-having babies'' feels like it's going to be one gigantic blind double date x 10, revolving around a topic I'd like to keep private. Besides, this class is generic and 'mainstream' and we're planning an alternative approach, drug-free using hypnobirthing.

Just because we're on an 'alternative' birthing/childrearing topic, I'll add this to convince you that I'm truly crazy.
After searching and searching for a cloth diaper service in Massachusetts, I finally found one, yes only one for the entire eastern portion of the state. Anyway, we're doing cloth. It's much cheaper and better than plastic throw aways. They'll come once a week and drop of a load of clean diapers and take the 'used' ones away.

The lack of cloth diaper services here brings to mind the thing that just keeps coming to me about the East vs. West Coast: There are so many things about the East Coast that are far from progressive. Example: The lack of businesses that accept depit cards--I never ever carried cash until I moved here.

rock and seaweed

rocks

Big C in Sea Town

List Fun

I can’t help thinking how weird and cool it is that because I’m pregnant with a boy I have a penis.

The shower was splendid, we’ve been gifted with a ton of great baby items--Thanks people!

Proof that you have little control over pregnancy weight gain: In Seattle, I ate a lot of everything I wanted (including dessert every night) and rarely exercised. I gained no weight—thank god.

A swelling recipe that really works: Boil a bunch of fresh parsley with a lemon until it’s a green sludgy mess—drink it and water be gone!

A good way to test people’s sense of humor when they ask you “Are you excited to have a baby?” is to tell them you’re really glad Massachusetts has a ‘safe haven’ law (which is something like a car lemon law for babies, allowing you to drop off your unwanted baby at any fire station within 7 days of birth without being prosecuted).

Another good test of humor: When people ask what you’re naming your baby, tell them the most horrendous names possible, with a straight face, and watch them squirm. Our standard joke name is Donald Chuck. Donald is Papa Mallet’s name and Chuck is Papa Todd’s name. As individual names, they’re just fine but in combination……

Pregnancy dreams increase in bizarritude the further along you are.
Examples: I killed someone, Hid out in-disguise in an old folks home then climbed a tree full of cats.

crabby

Crabby

I'm a crabby crabby lady these days.

Here's why:

I'm freaking tired like the worm jumping to get out of the Mexican bean. Our bed is HORRENDOUSLY hard and my ample portions and weight is really taking its toll on my relationship with Mr. Sandman. Rolling requires Alex to hoist/flop me over. Getting out of bed requires a 3-point turn and wrestling the Anaconda (a giant U-shaped pregnancy body pillow) is becoming more work every day.

I'm so crabby I can't even get creative enough to write anything else.

Showers, Showers and Showers

Off we go to Seattle to visit family and friends. The photographer in me has been in hibernation and is expected to awaken during this trip.

For now it's later to Boston Showers as we head to the land of Showers for our baby Shower...

UPDATE: Not to So Live Wire

UPDATE: Ahhh, the wonders of 'sleeping on it' and also inconsistent montitors. That said, I have officially decided that I DO NOT like this photo anymore. I'm looking at it and wondering why I thought it was redeeming. I'm my own best critic.

I took this photo a while back while visting my brother-in-law, Victor, in Philadelphia.
Some might think it's dull or wonder why someone who fancys themselves a photographer would post such a photo. Here's my explaination: I like this photo because of its simplicity. I like that the only color comes from the only non-straight edge in the frame. True, I did render everything but the wire blk & wt, but the shot was essentially pretty monochrome anyway.

I asked my photo editor, Alex, what he thought and he said "uhm.. I don't really know what to make of it" and then I asked my French Fashionista Friend Geoffrey what he thought and he didn't have much to add at first and then he asked me about the color. Upon telling him what I did he said it reminded him of the girl in the red coat in Shindler's list. Interesting.

Contrail Over Jamaica Pond

Channeling Shamoo

IM conversation with sister in The Land of Milk and Honey

Sister: Are you swelling yet? I had terrible swelling in my hands, feet and ankles when I was pregnant.

Me: Nope not me! Aren’t I lucky?

Stupid, Stupid me. I jinxed myself—24 hours later I’d be looking at my man hands and sausage toes.

Flax seed, Lemon juice, Gallons upon Gallons of water, Dandelion tincture—did they help? Not really.

And then, I attempted what I thought I’d never do….. I put on my Shamoo suit and hit the pool.

I’ve chosen the Orca as my swimming mascot, which seems a natural choice given my NW roots and my swimming costume, which is clearly in fitting with the Orca color scheme, black and white--black maternity bathing suit and white winter skin.

Flippers on, kick-board in hand and off I go, and so do the man hands and sausage toes.

Lesson of the day: When you feel like a whale, act like one.

HypnoNapping

I'm going to count down from 5 and when I get to 1 you will be………………………………………………………..

Then..... I wake up and..... "Wait where am I, what happened?"

Falling asleep is what's happened 2 of the 4 times I’ve attempted practice my Hypnobirthing program.

It's clear I have no trouble relaxing, but if I’m asleep through half of the program it’s pointless and I have to start again. The program I’m using consists of a bunch of CDs that I need to start listening to at the beginning of my 7^th month (yes, I’m that far along.. . holy mole, that’s a bit scary) and I'm supposed to listen to each program 7 consecutive times. With my amazing ability to conk out, I’m going to need the gestational period of an elephant to get through the entire program before the little man arrives.

Restoration

My parents' wedding, August 28, 1971.

My mom sent me this photo to fix up which I was happy to do--it was simple and only took about 15 minutes--just the crease at the top, a bit of discoloration and few splotches really.

More restoration: Mommy Restored & Kleiner Alex

Once we move back to The Land of Milk and Honey I plan to have my own photography business (portraiture) and I think photo restoration, in addition to stock photography, would be a nice addition. Why? Because unless you can time travel, photo memories are all you’ve got and they’re probably faded, yellowed, and on non-archival photo paper, which means they will continue to age. That's were I come in. Give me your photo, I'll scan it and spruce it up and even make prints on my fancy photo printer which uses archival quality inks and paper--these images should last 300 years, or so they say.

Word of warning: If you are printing your digital images and then dumping the files you are going to be sorry. The paper most prints are made on is good for about 7 years , after that you're going to get fading and discoloration. Be sure to save all of your images on a CD, whether you think you'll print them or not. Dad, remember this please. :)

Film Crime vs. Film Punishment

Crime and Punishment, the sweater

Match Point Yeah! Enduring Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment has finally paid off and I'm now talking to you from my high-brow-smarty-pants soap-box because it's completely clear from my classically read mind that Crime and Punishment was Woody Allen’s inspiration for this film. Crime and Punishment is long, really long and I don't recommend you read it unless you like classic novel torture or you find yourself in a cell, being punished for a crime. I endured all 5 badillion hours of Crime and Punishment on cd, mind you while knitting an atrocious sweater which has aptly been named Crime and Punishment because it was a crime to knit and is punishing to wear. Okay I'm off topic, Match Point is indeed a sexy thriller--see it.

Good Night and Good Luck... is all I have to say to those planning on watch this movie. I feel like a real lamo for not catching this film’s brilliance. Maybe it’s my lacking attention span, or my ability to fall asleep in 10 minutes flat, but nothing about this movie rocked my world. To me, it was like sitting in on a bunch of really boring meetings--probably along the lines of what it must be like for sons or daughters on take your kiddie to work day. I had to listen too hard to follow and there was no eye candy, be it human or landscape. Good Night and Good Luck with this one.