The Mean Lady in the White Coat

From Friday to Saturday I gained 4 lbs, which can only be a result of water retention from the Vietnamese food we ate on Saturday.

Background: I have always been, shall we say 'weight conscious', some might even say obsessive, maybe even a touch of body dimorphic-ness.
I work out, we have no car and therefore I walk everywhere the T can't take me. Bottom line, I get my workout on.

This morning I woke up puffy, but nothing unusual--my rings still fit.

We walked to the train. I sat on the train and watched my fingers turn into sausages.

This had me a bit worried and had me thinking I had a raging case of preeclampsia.

I get to work, call the clinic and they tell me to come in immediately to see a Dr.--my midwife wasn’t in today.

Background: My opinion of MIT medical? Let's just say I don't much care for it. Bedside manners have a lot to be desired there, which is why I went with a midwife, and even that decision wasn't without it’s problems (The downs syndrome scare of 2006).

So I get to the clinic this morning and the nurse says it's weighing time. I told her I had divorced the scale but she begged to differ. The number was as I expected.

Background: I decided last Sunday night that the next morning's 20 week appointment was going to be the time I rebel against the scale. After himming and haaing about my Vietnamese water weight, I decided to divorce the Drs office scale. At my appointment I declared "You will not be weighing me from this appointment forward". The nurse was of course a bit taken aback but I felt totally justified because my first visit with my midwife she told me that if I ever got to a point where seeing the scale numbers was too much to bear that they would just stop weighing me. She let me know that this was very unconventional in MIT's eyes and the Drs at MIT are very old school. She told me that there is no evidence that weighing expectant mothers does any good--they don't usually do anything with the numbers except berate you if they're too high. She said they don't weight in the UK and as long as it's clear I'm not starving, which it is, then I can decide to take the scale or leave it.

I'm put in a room for the usual extended Dr. wait time. She finally arrives.

Question: What's the first thing she says to me?

Answer: "Gaining too much weight, that's your problem." "You need to see a nutritionist and exercise." I wanted to cry but held it together. What this has to do with the puffiness and water retention I called about, I have no idea.

She ordered some lab tests which she said were unnecessary because there's nothing wrong with me other than gaining too much weight.

I go to the lab. They draw the blood. I leave the lab and blood starts gushing out of my arm, dripping all over the floor. They put me in the emergency room until I stop blood letting.

The blood didn't freak me out but the people in the ER thought I was clearly shaken because they could see I was teary-eyed. What they didn't know what that it was because of the meany in the white coat who made me feel like Miss Piggy.

On the way back to my office someone asked me if I was due in May--don't I wish jerk!

The End.

10, 15, and 20 weeks! Half Baked!

No whining!

Whiners with Elephant Ears

Remember that whiney tattle-tale in elementary school?
Wonder what kind of adult he turned out to be?
Check out the Toronto Star's article if you're curious.

More Stuff, in list form

I love and hate Boston for its garbage.
Love what you come across on the street on garbage day (couches, chairs, books, bookcases, etc). Hate all the trash littered, everywhere.

Yesterday was a Boston love day as I came across a bag labeled FREE outside a swanky house. Being the daughter of Chuck Todd, the world's most prolific salvageer of things deemed junk, I naturally had to inspect. What I found is now mine. Inside that bag: fancy damask bed linens from Spain, complete with embroidered pillow shams. SCORE! I'm sure something dark is associated with these sheets. Perhaps a body was rolled in them, or maybe a wife came home to her husband having a nooner on them. Whatever the dark secret of these linens, I don't care because they are LOV-E-LY.

Alex felt Little Man Mallet kick last night.

We saw a great bumper sticker the other day. "BOYCOTT SHAMPOO! Demand Real Poo!"

Stuff

I'm not feeling particularly long winded these days so here's a list of the latest.

Spring is officially here, but unfortunately that is not yet apparent to Boston's Mother Nature.

We got our first baby presents and I think they are just about the bestest presents eva. They prove just how cool my friends are and just how well they know what I'd like. Thanks to Lori, Paul, Claire and William for:Lullabies from the Axis of Evil , The Baby Owner's Manual : Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance; & a super groovy handmade mobile of Savanna creatures, which Sandeep loves ;)

This May, in The Land of Milk and Honey my sister Rhonda is throwing us a 'goodbye to adult life' party (aka: baby shower). It's going to be co-ed and people will be required to sign a "I promise not to 'ohhhh', 'ahhhh', or say the words 'cute', 'precious' or 'adorable' at any time during this adult soiree which will have adult food and beverages." I've had a hard time stomaching my sister's vision of us all "sitting in a circle watching you open baby presents", which prompted the above mentioned contract. I'm just not really the cutsey wootsey baby showering sort, so living out of town and coming home for it makes it seem more like a 'Hey, we're home! Let's Party Like Rock Stars' sort of affair. Not that I've ever partied like a rock star, but maybe I should try before I'm "MOM".

Speaking of Seattle, I've discovered I'm really bummed out that el Niño won't be born in Seattle, like me. If he's going to be American then I wish he were brought into the world on the west coast, because we all know the west is best. He'll be the first East Coaster in my family.

I only have 15 weeks, or 103 days (including weekends), left at work. June 30th will be a glorious glorious day.

My rib cage has expanded 4 inches, which from what I've read is due to the fact that my lung capacity has increased 40%. If ever there were a time to run a marathon..... ya right.

The End

Sandeep in Sweater

Shot with Hopes for Bought

I recently sent in a submission to Age Fotostock, the photo agency I have a contract with, and this is what they picked up.

Message From The Womb

Hi, I'm a boy and a happy boy because this house I'm in has gotten a lot more comfortable and relaxing since last Friday when my parents got word that I'm healthy and normal. See, a couple of weeks ago there was this big ol' needle that seriously harshed on my amniotic-fluid mellow.

Now, for the adult version on this go to my dad's web thingy.

My Better Half Says it Better

Check out Alex's recent post (linked here) on funny phrasings.

Cat in the Hat

Big ups to Sandeep, our cat, for being such a willing fit model. He's modeling a hat I just finished for el Nino.

Now is this not the face of a proud Papa?

Eat Your Wheaties

Before I announced el Niño was on the way I wrote a post about weird dreams (linked here). Now that I’m sooooo much wiser as a 16week pregnancy veteran I know that progesterone is the culprit to my wildly vivid dreams. Last night's, was…well.... doubly weird.

I’m sitting on the grass with a friend and she says, let me see your chest and she lifts up my shirt and I have stalks of wheat growing from my nipples. We begin to pull them out and she says, “oh ya, I had that too, I just wanted to check.”

Um okay, does this mean I’ll be a bountiful lactate-ress, that I'm the personification of the harvest land?

Bring on the snails & puppy dog tails because....

This here baby is a boy!

Now, Sir Mallet just has pick one of the two names we've narrowed it down to. I'm ready to call this kid by name, but for now he'll be el Niño.

No Honeymoon

Question: If this is what I look like at 14 weeks 4 days, how big will I look at 40 weeks?

Statement: The second trimester is commonly called the honeymoon period of pregnancy.

Realization: The above statement does not apply to me.

Explanation: The 2nd trimester has brought with it aches & pains from stretching body parts, awkward walking, crankiness and an anti-nesting, no-cooking instinct .

By comparison the first trimester was great for me. I had no morning sickness, wasn't all that tired and food tasted really good which moved me to do all sorts of cooking. Now when I present dinner choices to dear Alex, it goes something like this: "What do you want for dinner, eggs or macaroni and cheese out of a box?" To which Alex replies, "How about some protein with that macaroni and cheese?" "Okay, how about a side of bacon?"

Tacky Pants

Remembering this little sidebar from this week's New Yorker, has brought on random outbursts of the giggles.

From the Boston Globe:

Because of a reporting error, Dr. Arleigh Dygert Richardson III, former teacher at Lawrence Academy in Groton, was described in his obituary yesterday as favoring tacky pants with tweed jackets and Oxford shirts. Dr. Richardson favored khaki pants.

Rights-Managed Me

My images managed by Age Fotostock have finally been uploaded to their site. There are 10 of them, each very carefully code-worded for super-duper exposure and saleability. Have a look if you're so inclined.

Bold Browned Susan
Zen Rock Garden
Mt. Rainier
Seattle
Tombs
Alex on the diving board
Chloe Swinging
Dreamy Alex
Botanical Claire
Worn Tools

A Cat Lady's Transition to Kid Lady

Sandeep and his Mom, by Steph Dav

I’m far from really comprehending what's going to happen when MiniMallet comes into the scene, but I think I'm starting to get closer. Recently I’ve been introduced to some of the realities of parenthood and I'm totally freaked out.

My photog friend Stefanie came across her feeding and diapering record for her daughter Madison and happily shared it with me. I was not prepared for what I saw, which looked something like this:

12:00am feeding
1:40am feeding, poop and pee
3:00am feeding
4:50am feeding, poop and pee
6:20am feeding, pee
8:00am feeding
10:00am feeding poop and pee
12:00pm
2:00pm feeding pee
4:20pm feeding poop and pee
6:50pm feeding
8:45pm feeding, pee
10:30pm feeding, poop and pee
(start at the top again, different day, same routine)

Sure, I know there’s a lot time spent feeding and diapering but I had never actually seen hard data proving the frequency of this scenario. I'm starting to understand why so many people are telling me to enjoy sleep now, while I can.

He Speaketh The Truth

Ipod + Donuts= Bad

Two things I thought I loved have fallen from grace, namely donuts and ipods.

Donuts
My craving and belief that I would like to eat donuts has ceased. Dear Alex brought me some and when I took one look at the grease stains on the bag holding them I knew this was going to be a short lived pregnancy craving. Donuts are the junkiest of junk food, they’re toxically sweet and TransFattyAcid greasy. Yuck. Three cheers to Alex for curing me.

Ipods
My 2nd Ipod in 3 years is dead. The first, the 30 gig sort, succumb to Alex’s Gatorade. The second, the 40 gig variety, and most recently deceased went haywire yesterday for no reason (think clicking and the file folder with exclamation icon). The warranty is expired and so I’m throwing in the Ipod towel and going for a cheaper, not so chic option.

MeHim, An Introduction

Well, it's officially official--Alex and I are having a little human!

There’s not much to report other than the above ultrasound images and that I’ve busted out of all my jeans.

Seriously, this seems like it's been way too easy--no nausea, no aching chest, etc. My only real complaints are the nightly sweats (the 'soaking-2-towels-and-then-the-sheets' sort of sweats) and hunger (the 'I’m-up-at-3:00am-to-eat-another-banana' sort of hunger).

Speaking of hunger, I have had some very, at least for me, unusual cravings. For instance, I used to loathe blueberries—they were just too sweet. Now I can't get enough. Salsa and marinara sauce have become worthy of straight from the jar, cold from the fridge kind of eating. The next . . . I'm embarrassed to say so I’ll let the photo do the talking.



I know it’s snobby and ridiculous but I always considered the taste-return on calorie- investment a waste. I’m also embarrassed because I just don’t eat low quality junk like this. My, how things change.

I want the sort that you see here, but I can't find them here and I can’t get them on mail order (yes, I did a thorough investigation) so donut holes will have to suffice.

Yesterday I was so ashamed of myself that I couldn't even bring myself to say the name of what I wanted. I just pointed and said "I'll have 2 white and 2 brown please,"

So back to the point, which is not food or my snobby perceptions of it, rather it's Mini Mallet, due to enter the scene on August 14!