I now understand why pregnant women and bare feet go together like rock stars and leather. Here's the scoop: When your appearance prompts people to say "Wow you look like you're going to pop!" chances are you feel that way and have limited range of motion as a result.
Case in Point: I made a trek to Macy’s today (I usually avoid department stores but to date I require a Neapolitan shopping experience: water fountains, bathrooms, and A/C all in one) to get some comfy walking sandals and a piece of clothing that has long been extinct in my wardrobe, shorts. It's just so freaking hot, humid, hazy and hellish that I've decided baring my pillars and shoes for comfort are necessities.
Anyway back to the shoes. I ask the Macy’s shoe man to bring me the shoes I have in hand, which he promptly dumps on the floor in front of me and high-tails it. I thought he was going to get himself a little shoe salesperson stool but that was not the case. He decided to stand around and gab with the other sales people while I grunted my way to the floor to pick up the shoes before me. Out of the box they came but that’s about as far as they got—I can’t reach my feet anymore, so I just sat there until he came back. To his credit, he did eventually put my shoes on for me, but very grudgingly. It was an all-around embarrassing experience, for both of us.
Today's Lesson: Don't do self-service shoe shopping when transporting another human.