Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Separation Anxiety

Yesterday, I came to realize the power and safety of 'Mother'.

There was a spot in the day care at The Scary Gym so we went for it. Ms. Doubtfire was sick this week so this was my one chance for alone time. Turns out it wasn't meant to be. See, there's this thing we're experiencing called 'separation anxiety'.

After 40 minutes of catching up on my Hollywood smut mags while attempting to sweat, I saw the daycare lady coming my way. If I was a filmmaker and this was my movie, everything would decelerate as a low and slow "NOOOOOOO" bellowed out of me.

Turns out the boy was having an extended meltdown--he'd been at it since I left.

Daycare lady's words "He won't calm down--you need to come now".

This is the part where I started to realize how being a mother is instinctual and hijacks you on all levels when something isn't right. I wanted push day care lady out of my way in true Momma Bear fashion and run to my boy but managed to maintain my cool with a friendly conversation about the weather.

I got to my guy with out hurting anyone in my path and found him indeed out of sorts. He had been crying so long that he had that gaspy hiccup shudder thing going on, which continued for another hour.

Later on, while reading about separation anxiety, my heart hurt, not just for my boy who was so worried I wasn't coming back, but also for all the little people in this world who don't have somebody. I kept imagining all the kids who don't ever experience separation anxiety or who have a never ending version because they don't have a sense of safety with a parent or caregiver.


Lindsay said...

ohhh man. I'm sorry little XMan was crying for so long.
we're going through it here too. Even Gregg is not immuune to being categorized as a stranger, at least in the morning.
that's why i got someone to come to the house a couple of times to train me. can't take Benny to the gym.
it's hard to watch babies cry on tv, films now & reading about hurt babies, ugh.

Bringing Up Ben said...

add me to the boat.
those gaspy hiccup shudders break my heart.
and yes, Ben will break out into screams if Jim tries to take him from my arms - or even comes into the room and tries to play with us.