Thursday, April 06, 2006

Thanks Terry Tate, Subway Linebacker!

You, a man riding the subway at rush hour, have a seat.
A pregnant gal gets on but there are no seats left so she stands and braces herself as the train lurches through the bowels of the city.
You, like many of your fellow subway riders, pasty and dorky in your Lands End coats and toting cheap brief cases, are hard pressed to offer her your seat. I mean come on, it's like 5:00 and you worked hard to get that seat. You just avert your eyes and pretend you don't notice.
Then, a very large, very tough looking black man smiles at the pregnant lady, noticing her bump.
He also kindly points out the seat behind her that's free but as she turns, someone grabs it.
The man looks down at you and all the other lame excuses for men.
He waits.
Nothing happens.
Then something does happen. This man channels the powers of Terry Tate Office Linebacker.
He, in a very stern yet quiet voice ( a voice implying pain cake was ready to be served) says "Which of you gentlemen is going to give this pregnant lady your seat?"
You all look up to see this man glower at you. You act surprised and taken off-guard because you can see the pain cake candles in his eyes.
You get up, pregnant gal sits down, and Terry Tate gets off at the next stop.

Thanks Terry Tate Subway Linebacker!

4 comments:

Ben said...

woo woo, woo woo, the pain train is coming!!
Great story, I wish I had the balls to tell guys to get up when I see the same thing. I witnessed a pregnant woman AND a woman with crutches, ride all the way from Harvard Square to Downtown Crossing without getting offered a seat. Disgusting.

Bruce said...

(a voice implying pain cake was ready to be served)

Funniest thing I've read all week. Mind if I borrow that line sometime?

JoJo said...

Any Day, Every Day!!!!! WHooooo!!! awesome...

Citisucks said...

Rich white men are the most disgusting, selfish people on earth. Glad someone told them-also a good sign that the revolution is coming. Until them I am sure the same idiots who wouldn't give you a seat are spending all day planning how to screw over your child which doesn't even appear to be born yet and all our children as well.